Open for Business
The name and purpose of this puzzle box got the creative cocktail wheels in my brain turning. Wouldn’t it be fun, I thought, to have an “Open for Cocktail” which needed to be “opened” to access it somehow, just like this box. It couldn’t just be a bottled cocktail, open and pour - that would obviously be much too simple. The challenge reminded me of another cocktail I once created, which changed from one thing to another over time – I called it a “sequential discovery” cocktail which “solved itself”. That was the London Calling which celebrated Brian Young’s IPP Grand Prize for the Big Ben puzzle in 2015. The drink transforms from a Gin and Tonic into a Pimm’s Cup as the ice melts. Working from that idea, I present the Open for Business cocktail. It starts out as the classic business person’s drink – the dry martini. Inside the glass resides a purist’s ratio of mostly gin to a hint of vermouth. Sitting prominently amidst this impeccable potion is an impressive ice ball. Even more impressive is the fact that this sphere is not solid, and holds another cocktail inside. That’s right – a combination of bourbon, lime, ginger beer and bitters are housed inside the hollow ice. This is a mule variation (as in Moscow mule, the classic ginger beer highball) which uses bourbon rather than vodka. It’s often referred to as a Kentucky Mule or a Beacon Mule. So now we have two cocktails. But we should make it a true “Businessman’s Special” (three drinks), right? We’ll have to … drumroll please … Open for Business. Crack the ice ball and allow the drinks to mingle and you will have another classic from the tiki canon, a cocktail perfect for anyone unfortunate enough to be faced with this bothersome business card box: the Suffering Bastard.
The Open for Business cocktail
The story behind the Suffering Bastard cocktail dates back to World War II when in 1942 Allied and German forces were locked in the battle of El Alamein to determine control of Egypt on the North African continent. After the long and hard fought defeat of Rommel’s forces by the British Army, Churchill declared the battle to be the turning point in the war for the Allies. The height of elegance in the capital city of Cairo was the Shepheard Hotel, where officers and the likes of Charles de Gaulle, King Farouk and Churchill himself were known to gather at its Long Bar. Head barman Joe Scialom invented a strong drink which masked the low quality booze available with limes and ginger beer and dubbed it the “Suffering Bastard” (the Allies were losing at the time). It proved immensely popular, to the point that Scialom once received a telegram from the front lines requesting he deliver eight gallons to the soldiers right away. Rommel was quoted saying he would be “drinking champagne in the master suite at Shepheard’s soon”. Perhaps he should have ordered the Suffering Bastard instead.
A Dry Martini plus a Kentucky Mule makes you a Suffering Bastard!
So beware next time you request someone’s business card – they just might present you with the Open for Business puzzle box. You can politely puzzle your way through it while drinking these three cocktails at once – a martini as you get down to business, a mule since the box stubbornly refuses to open, and as it takes you longer and longer, and the ice in your glass melts, a suffering bastard. I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this is hysterical. Cheers!
Time to get down to business!
Open for Business:
1 oz gin
¼ oz Cocchi Americano
1 oz bourbon
½ oz fresh lime juice
¼ oz demerara syrup
2 oz ginger beer
4-5 dashes Angostura bitters
Add the gin and vermouth to a glass. Combine the bourbon, lime, syrup, ginger beer and bitters, and inject into a prepared hollow ice sphere. Carefully place the ice sphere into the glass and plug the hole with a twist. Crack the ice or allow to melt to complete the cocktail. Serve with the remaining ginger beer to be added as desired. Take a bow.
To see the Open for Business cocktail in action, watch here: