Sea Chest
Maiden Voyage
Ahoy, mateys! Well shiver me timbers – it’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day … again! You might have thought the Magistrate would have apprehended the scallywags responsible for this ridiculous day by now, but there’s no bounty on their heads, and the jailer hasn’t been seen since visiting Crack Jenny’s Teacup. So, here we arrrrrrrre.
The Sea Chest by Jesse Born
Neverfear! I’ve just the thing for you, my boisterous Buccaneers, a treasure chest plundered by the Corsairs straight from Davey Jones Locker. How they came to acquire it, we shall never know, as dead men tell no tales. It’s the Sea Chest, after all, and it holds its secrets dear. Capn’ Jesse has pulled all the stops and fired his cannons broadside this time, to procure this epic box for his faithful crew. And a finer Capn’ has ne’er been Born. They say there’s treasure inside, but woe be the pirates who attempt to avail themselves of those riches. This coffer will run a rig on ye, till yer feeling right keelhauled.
Brass accents by Luke Marshall
The Capn’ dreamed of a mechanical pirate coffer made from Wenge, Bocote, Mahogany, Katalox, Holly, Cherry, and Copper. He epiphanized one fine morn of combining pistons into the chest, and packed it full to the gunwales with multiple locks, clues, and treasure. Then his first mate, that ole sly boots, added one more layer to thoroughly bamboozle anyone who attempted to pillage the pieces of eight. Capn’ likes his baubles shiny, so enlisted the help of the town Marshall, who crafted a copper compass to adorn it, and handles to hoist the chest high. The lid was a thing of beauty, carved by the guardian of the ocean deep, who roams from “sea N sea”. Capn’ Born was half minded to place a cannon deep inside, ready to blow any man down who dared enter, but the first mate talked some sense to him, assuring him the chest had plenty of quirks and quillets to spiflicate any rum bluffer and turn him higgledy-piggledy. Sure enough, thar be over thirty moves required, with sequential discoveries, a map, and the aforementioned treasure held fast from any but the savviest old salt.
A scene o' the high sea
Capn’ is a modern fellow, who still likes to plot his course by hand but employs a magic computing device to navigate the journeys now. He’s apt to trace the map many, many a time ere he weighs anchor. They say he crafted ten chests before he was satisfied that it would give no quarter. Yo ho! There’s some who seek perfection in this world, and aim to achieve it. Aye aye, Capn’, we can all appreciate a thing that’s shipshape. But blow me down! This chest is a thing of beauty, sure to make the fiercest pirate shed a diamond tear.
All hands on deck
The Sea Chest itself could easily be the motherload, a prize to make you flush in the pocket. Aye, but it’s just the first, me hearties. Just the first in the “Voyager Trilogy” from Capn’ Born. So grab yer spyglass and keep a lookout on the horizon for the next, the “SunDial” chest … there’s rumors about that Capn’ be parleying on the sequel with that other ‘ole seadog, Admiral Yaaaaarrrrger …
All aboard the Luxe Princess
Now blimey, I’ve known Capn’ Born since he was knee high to a ragamuffin, and I’ve only just savvy’d that he’s not likely to be found splicing the mainbrace like some carousers you might ken. So here’s a tasty tipple to tickle a sea capn’s fancy that’s no clap of thunder. It won’t make you squiffy, aye, there aint no nip o’ Nelson’s folly in it to be found. But don’t hang a jib, lads, like some death’s head on a mop! You’ll have ne’er a more delightful drink to sluice yer gobs with this side o’ the high seas.
Heave ho, I'm parched!
We’ll drop anchor off Galveston Island, home of notorious pirate Jean LaFitte, and batten down the hatches while we head ashore to mingle with the landlubbers. There’s bounty to be had for a few doubloons at Coltivare, where Capn’ Crowl-Keck runs a tight ship. She’ll suffer your prittle-prattle like a consummate host while her quick and nimble crew whip up yer heart’s desires, like this faux Grog that’ll make you sing a chanty. Now avast ye, and tip yer tankards to the Sea Chest – bottoms up!
Time to hoist the mizzen
Luxe Princess by Sarah Crowl-Keck, Coltivare, Houston
3 oz coconut water
1 oz fresh lime juice
½ oz orgeat
½ oz cherry syrup
3 dashes salt tincture
Handful of fresh mint leaves
Shake together with ice and strain into a favorite goblet filled with ice. Top with 1 oz sparkling water and garnish with mint, cherries, and powdered sugar dust on top
Salt tincture: Combine ½ oz of sea salt with 2 oz of water, and shake until salt is dissolved
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